2005-05-13 - 8:41 p.m.
i am now officially medicated. anti-depressants should come in vaginal rings - like Nuva Ring.
i love my nuva ring. my period comes every fourth wednesday morning. exactly! like clockwork. taking the pill gets messed up by inconsistent timing, and eating different foods and amounts of food. but the ring just floats there, slowly releasing a precise amount of birth control.
so i'd like my Lexapro to come in a ring, too, but i guess i should be happy with the pills! i almost missed the damn appointment - i was freaking out. i had arts & crafts club til 4:45, and then i forgot my wallet at home, so i had to swing by the apartment, and the psychiatrist's office is on the other side of town, and it was fucking rush hour, and i took two wrong turns. i ended up being ten minutes late when i was supposed to be twenty minutes early to sign forms.
anyway, i got interviewed for an hour by the pyschiatrist, Dr. D. she was pretty cool - i like her. she's really young and kind of funny. i felt like a dork in my teacher's clothes.
she says i have depression and that the anxiety is a side effect of depression. so that's why i'm now on an antidepressant.
i don't know what to expect now. i guess i won't be crying all the time, or freaking out so much. so then what am i going to do in my spare time? ha ha. i guess i'll figure something out.
today i took my first pill, and i feel okay. except that i have the beginning of strep throat or something. and i'm sleep deprived.
i want to revamp the whole apartment. i want to decorate and coordinate the whole shit.
i also want to have more control over my schedule, but that's not going to happen for awhile. i've got three summer jobs lined up. the library is one of course. then i've got two awesome resume boosters - teaching for a 3-week precollege program, and mentoring incoming freshmen during an 8-week summer writing course.
i wish Brian and i could have similar schedules. i didn't see him at all yesterday or the day before, and i will be asleep tonight before he gets back from work. so frusterating.
hopefully, though, things will be more positive and cheerful soon. yay pills.
