2004-08-09 - 1:00 p.m.
last night i did not go out. i stayed in, watched extreme home makeover and a show about conjoined twins. i played endless rounds of snood. i procrastinated fulfilling my promise to brian to pack moving boxes. finally i packed up some kitchen stuff. i got bored, lonely, frusterated. a bottle of vicks 44 beckoned. so i thought, well i will give this stuff a test run (years ago, i would only do the extraction, dxm - ive never just drank the syrup as is).
so i drank about 5 oz of syrup, and continued on with my lonely evening. i smoked a cigarette out on the balcony, hardly since my lungs are very pink now. i did the dirty dishes. i listened to spoon and fugazi. i played more snood. i called sara and jamie. nothing really seemed to be happening. i felt like i was going to puke sickly sweet red syrup all over the front of my shirt.
then i got the urge to dance. it was kinda sad, me dancing all by myself in brian's messy bedroom, where the music was playing. but i had a good time. i played some more snood and felt lonely but kinda good too. brian called to be picked up from work, and i told him i was too messed up to drive. so i walked down state street to meet him halfway. i usually walk really fast, like a drill sargeant, and i told myself to hurry up, but i kept forgetting and finding myself strolling along.
i convinced brian to go to the park, even though he was so sober and so tired. the swing made me nauseous, but it was fun running around and peeing in the dark. at home, brian was super grumpy. i played murder city devils in my cd alarm clock and danced around, while he read about dxm and absynthe on the internet. that was super fun! it really sucks that my favorite drug is so incredibly bad for you. im promising myself not to do it more than a couple times a year. i need to convert myself to pot, which seems to be virtually harmless.
brian made me go to bed when i was peaking. oh, first he made me brush my teeth. i whined about it, but then it felt so awesome i didnt want to stop. laying in bed felt ok too. i wanted to feel the fan blowing on me, but he wouldnt let me put it on. god, he was being such a jerk. so then i was laying there, feeling good. apparently i was fidgeting all night. i do remember rolling over once in awhile, to change positions, and feeling so good about it that i wanted to keep rolling and rolling.
today i feel just fine. im in a good mood actually. im glad i did that test run by myself. now i wont have to worry when someone else wants to do it with me. i was worried that the straight syrup was going to suck, but actually it wasnt much different from the extract. i cant believe i wasted all that time and money extracting it back then! oh well, amanda convinced me that that was what one did, so that is what i did.
