2005-10-20 - 4:18 p.m.
i slept in til 11 am this morning. only martha stewart and the god awful banging noises outside motivated me to get up, turn the tv on, and pee.
when i first moved in, i had this weird anxiety that was uncomfortable, but at least kept me up and doing things. i'd pop out of bed at 7:30, usually sweating from some terrible nightmare, and get out of the house as quickly as possible. i think i read a half dozen books in just a few weeks. i also exercised like crazy - just to have something to do.
but now, i'm more resigned and lethargic. my "fun time" is basically over. i'm no longer "between jobs," i'm definately now in the underemployed category.
i think things really started to slow down after my weekend in minneapolis with kristi. that was really fun, and it marked the end of the fun and the beginning of the panic.
i haven't heard back about the nursing assistant job, and that really upsets me. i was very much counting on that as a "given." i was more worried about whether or not i'd like it. it didn't occur to me that i might not even get it.
i emailed in sick today, to get out of going to a PEOPLE meeting. i even added in a minor typo, to make the sick version of me seem more authentic. (dork) it's a meeting of all the summer program teachers (i'm one of the those). i just don't want to face all the other teachers - i feel like such a loser. and what do i have to contribute anyway? my paid teaching experience is limited to those three weeks this summer, and i don't even want to continue in the field anyway.
maybe i should've gone, to ensure that i get the job again next summer. although, i certainly hope i'll have a full-time job by then!
i got my first paycheck from the grocery store - a nice 23 bucks for my training session last week. i start bagging this weekend. bagging is degrading, but atleast it's some extra cash. once i upgrade to cashier or stocker, i'll be making 12 bucks an hour.
