2005-03-24 - 10:04 a.m.
i was just skimming through the entries i wrote in Spring 2004, when i was student teaching at shabazz high school.
i needed the reassurance that i haven't always been such a miserable mess. i don't feel like myself now. when i read those old entries, i hear my voice coming through. i hear myself in those old entries.
at the middle school, i wallow in misery. i carry heavy burdens that suffocate my lungs and chest and heart. i hate it, and it's another eleven weeks.
the hardest weeks will be next four or so. after that, i hope things will glide more smoothly.
i'm so afraid of wasting my life. i'm so afraid of enduring and waiting and suffering, when i could be living and enjoying and savoring.
