2005-03-27 - 10:17 p.m.
Grandpa died today. he was really unhappy these last two years. he had a stroke, and then Grandma died.
i should have done something to help him. called him, or wrote to him. but i didn't. we didn't really have a relationship, and it would have been awkward. now, though, i wish i had made the effort.
i need to make sure this doesn't happen with my parents. i need to keep an eye on them, and try to make them happy everyday.
i feel responsible for my parents' well-being. i'm not sure when that transition happened.
as far as my own happiness, i guess that's on hold. eleven weeks. i decided that things aren't as bad as i'm making them out to be. maybe that's just 8 kid-free days talking, but i think i can manage a few more months of middle school.
i'm adding another gym day, wednesday. i'm hoping it becomes something to look forward to, like my saturday gym day.
maybe i should start another knitting project. i need some size 2 needles to make those socks.
when i'm free, like when i'm a substitute teacher, i'll pay more attention to my happiness. i'd like to create a real home, with things organized and decorated well. i'd like some dogs for pets and company. i'd like to have luxourious amount of time everyday to exercise and go to yoga classes. i'd like to cook healthy meals for me and brian. i'd like to have a clean house. i'd like to get some reading done.
things that make me happy now are:
brian
shelving at the library while listening to books on tape
keeping in touch with mom and dad and sara
sugar
saturdays at the gym (and wednesdays too now)
having my bike fixed like new again
