2004-10-13 - 2:59 p.m.
im not going to do a damn thing today.
i have a lot of projects and papers that are due in the next few weeks. but it is all so do-able. its less a stretch-of-the-brain thing and more of a just-get-it-together thing.
do i require more do-nothing time than the average succussful person?
sometimes i think so. i used to know this girl who needed hours and hours of do-nothing time every single day. i'd see her sitting on the floor in her room, literally doing nothing.
when i say do-nothing, i usually mean write in my online diary, knit, watch tv, exercise, clean, talk, go out, enjoy nature, cook. it really isnt exactly doing nothing - its just stuff that doesnt count for anything. i dont get any credit for it. so its basically nothing.
i like to spend a lot of time alone, reading or doing mindless, repetative things (knitting!). i take things slow. it takes me twice as long to read things as other people. i mean, im going to be an english teacher, and it still takes me forever to get through a book.
what is it about me? why wont i work hard? why am i so satisfied with stillness and slowness and repetativeness?
and why do i care? why do i feel guilty and pressured and resentful and ashamed??
