2005-12-28 - 8:06 p.m.
i am crazy tired and stuck at work for 54 more minutes. im deliriously useless. poo.
im feeling blue about new years because i know that it will be impossible to avoid erics ex girlfriend. shes already back in town. and shes already interfering with my life. i was just talking to luke, and he told me he was having a "dinner party" to which he had not invited me.
ok first of all, the dinner party thing is something ive been bugging him to do. so its not cool that he didnt call me.
secondly, obviously, the only reason he didnt call was because erics ex was there.
that sucks!
why dont i have any foresight???
eric asked me to go to see his friends band on new years. after that, i wanted to go over to lukes.
but the plans are foiled for me. i didnt realize the band eric wants to see has his ex's best friend's boyfriend in it. so she is definately going to be at the show.
and, of course, she will be at lukes party too. so what the fuck am i supposed to do?
it seems so unreal because i never even saw jenny and eric together. ive hung out with jenny periodically for a couple of years now. and then she left for arizona. and then i met eric. so it hasnt really really sunk in, exactly what i did, aka stealing the friends boyfriend.
but its not really stealing if we got together 5 months after they broke up. and he doesnt seem concerned about any of this tension - he doesnt think that the emotional, wracked jenny has anything to do with my presence. but she used to get drunk and tell me (jealously) how pretty i was and all that bullshit. so of course she hates me a little bit.
argh. and i think im in love with him. my love is cheap though. i live to fall in love. but still.
i think i just need a long, sexfree sleep. me alone in my big bed, fresh sheets, so nice.
only 47 minutes left!
