2004-08-04 - 12:45 p.m.
today is our 46th month anniversary. (i, the future english teacher, have no idea how to personalize "our" - is it brian and my? me and brian's? brian and i's?????!)
yes, we keep track of monthly anniversaries. its just nice to get that kiss and happy squeeze on the fourth. usually one of us forgets, sometimes both, but it always gets recognized eventually.
our four year is coming up. eek. yay. im not sure how i feel about it. i want to get him a bolo tie. he wants a bow tie. bolo ties are way sexier! maybe ill get him both. but im so poor! and where the hell does one go to find a bolo tie when one does not live in dallas, texas?
i love brian, buts hes a trap. hes like a too fluffy bed, that i sink into, and get so comfortable in all the soft folds that i dont realize im stuck in there. i decided last night that brian is a paralyzed mute. if i dont say anything to him, he is silent. if i dont touch him, he doesnt touch me, and barely moves (unless hes on a cleaning rampage). i dont know how long this state of mute paralysis might last, because im never patient enough to test it for very long.
when he is upset, he gets stiller and stiller and quieter and quieter. he petrifies. its frightening. he curls inward, too. like a little bean drying up. once, he curled and curled, and then tears squeezed out. hot big tears. id let it go pretty far that time, because i was angry. but when i saw the tears, i felt horrible. i jumped in then.
he says that i make him feel better. i believe him. he doesnt think that he is as able to make me feel better. i agree with him.
