2004-01-01 - 7:04 p.m.
vacation is fucking fantastic.
i cant seem to stop eating crap though. i just love to feel full. i cant get that anorexic brainwash going anymore. i look at my body with all its blubber and pudgies and lumps, and im totally disgusted, but i cant seem to control my eating to make changes.
i have been exercising. i love yoga. the stretching that tingles and tugs like sex... strength building is pretty fun too. my newest endeavor is holding stances. thats very hard. i think it might replace p10. im less dillegent about cardio. i wonder if id do better if i had my own efx machine. ???
i dont want to go to work ever ever! ive been doing a bit of prep for teaching toni morrison, but the going has been slow. theres so many other things to do.
i really want a baby. i want to give someone life. and breastfeed. and smell their sweet baby head. and help them grow up and have fun and find happiness.
