2003-12-04 - 8:02 p.m.
i was watching the paris hilton show last night, and i got inspired. sort of.
i mean, that girl is sick. sickly thin, sickly pathetic. look at her nasty shoulder bones for goodness sake.
but the money inspired me. my god, the money. she has never worked a day in her life. i wonder if she even graduated high school.
she can do whatever the fuck she wants.
it just has to occur to her. and therein lies her patheticness, it will never occur to her. at least not what i want out of life.
i want to live life like paris hilton. i want to do what i want. i want money to be like the asswipe of my life, necessary but really more of a footnote than a chapter title.
after the show ended i realized that i want to live on the edge of civilization. i want one foot in and the other foot out. i want a big huge yard with a big tall fence around it. i want dogs running around and a couple kilns out back. i want to read recklessly and discuss seriously. i want to fly out of control and be back in time for dinner.
today i ventured out. i had a couple hours to myself, having cancelled a four hour work shift to attend a two hour class. i indulged those two hours! i snatched them back, i gave them to me. i finished the bluest eye, by toni morrison. i read recklessly. i ignored the clock, the syllabus, the calendar. i indulged in emotion sad and deep. i wandered to the seventh floor soda machine for some fresca soul cleansing, and stumbled into a beautiful sculpture exhibit.
if i were paris hilton, this is how id spend my endless time.
